Don’t Panic, Pt. 6: Swedish factor

The days are all running together, but apparently we had Passover this week, and the Israeli government took the opportunity to temporarily but fully lock down the nation. I know that this is economically, psychologically, emotionally straining (I think the vernacular is “it’s a sh*tshow”), but for now I’m still okay with these extreme measures. The reason I’m okay is Sweden.

I’m trying to scroll less and take news breaks. I find the site that interests me most is featured on The Times of Israel related to the coronavirus.

9pm

9pm, Saturday night

See the Coronvirus Worldmeter? That’s my go-to site.

This week, I saw a little clip about Sweden’s policy of not closing down the nation and allowing people to “use their common sense.” Culturally, Swedes are quite fine with working from home, they aren’t overly social, they don’t have multiple generations living together. It’s not exactly a “herd immunity” argument, but it does suggest that healthy, younger, less-vulnerable people can go about their business as usual while vulnerable people should be isolated.

Sweden is of interest to me because they have a similar population to Israel: Sweden, 10.1 million; Israel, 8.6 million.

**Note: I’m not a statistician or an epidemiologist, and I know the comparisons below are not scientific.**

Israel and Sweden have a similar number of confirmed coronavirus cases. I tend not to follow that number because it’s based on testing capacity. You can see on the site that Israel is testing twice as much as Sweden is.

I follow the number of deaths (no, not because I’m morbid). This number is also a bit flawed. What if someone died but didn’t get tested for coronavirus? If they died of regular flu or pneumonia or didn’t get treatment in the ICU because it was crowded, is it counted in the corona deaths? I don’t think so, but these are the numbers we have.

Ready?

As of this writing: Israel has a total of 97 deaths. Sweden has a total of 887.

Now one might argue that Scandinavia in general has more deaths. Nope. Finland has 49. Norway has 117. Denmark has 260. Lock down nations all, and their populations range from 5.4 to 5.7 million.

The main “herd immunity” experiment was in the UK (67.8 million people). They have since walked it back and locked down (mostly). They even had their prime minister in the ICU this week. How are they doing? 9,875 total deaths with around 900 per day most of this week.

Israel’s first death was March 20, and the “closed case” statistic is 93% recover, 7% die.

Sweden’s first death was March 11, and the “closed case” statistic is 30% recover, 70% die. I can’t even begin to speculate why there is such a huge difference.

Sweden’s death graph tends to be up and down (it’s reality, not a projection, after all). Most of this week saw 75-114 deaths per day, but only 17 so far today. It remains to be seen if in the long term Sweden’s strategy will work.

Israel was ranked number 1 in COVID-19 safety by Deep Knowledge Group. So even though we are going through something resembling a science fiction/dystopian future movie, I feel pretty good about how Israel is doing.

But I have some complaints.

  1. Families around the nation were forbidden from meeting or traveling to other cities and even shut in their homes on the evening of the Seder, and yet somehow our president and prime minister managed to meet with their adult children. Way to lead by example, guys! At a minimum, they should be fined 5,000 NIS like others have been.
  2. Flights were bringing Israelis home from around the world and passengers were not checked for the virus or put in quarantine. They just took taxis home. Way to be organized, guys! So Netanyahu cancelled all flights to Israel.
  3.  The government is not yet formed, and there is no exit strategy for the lock down. Way to put egos aside for the good of the country, guys!
  4. I keep saying “guys,” not because I’m sloppily generalizing, I’m saying it because it’s mostly men in charge of this sh*tshow.

***

Even so, there are still glimmers of light in the darkness.

One of my best scrolling experiences this week comes from the Facebook group View from my window. It’s exactly what it sounds like, and it’s beautiful, inspiring, and reminds us that we are all in this together.

Speaking of sh*tshows, this is the meme that made me laugh the hardest this week (from The Language Nerds on Facebook).

meme

Stay healthy! Stay home!

Stay sane! Stay safe! 

 

Don’t Panic, Pt. 5: Philosophy Corner

To those who are ill: I wish you a speedy recovery!
I wish everyone good health, safety, strength, and patience!
And we all owe a debt of gratitude to everyone who continues to work during this time. They are on the front lines and deserve much more than we’re giving them. 

***

This week I’ve been thinking about the Tower card in the Tarot deck.

RWS_Tarot_16_Tower

It’s pretty scary! If it comes up in a reading, it means sudden, shocking change. There’s a lightning bolt from the sky. Fire! The symbols of the kingdom are knocked over. People are falling. Everything you know is going to be shaken to its foundations.

But most interpretations offer a glimmer of hope.

  • What if the Tower was a prison? Now you are free.
  • What if the Tower was built on shaky foundations? Now you can rebuild.
  • What if the Tower was a monument to illusion? Now you can move forward with knowledge.

COVID-19 is definitely a sudden, shocking event, and it has shaken the world. It’s scary, and it’s a catastrophe for physical and mental health, for the world economy, for social connections, for everything we knew before.

Now what? Where is the glimmer of hope?

Day after day after day after day after day after day …

If you’re sheltering at home, they do kind-of blend together, don’t they? Someone wished me a nice weekend, and I channeled Downtown Abbey‘s Lady Violet, “What is a ‘week-end’?”

But I’m more reminded of the the movie Groundhog Day, a Bill Murray classic about a guy who relives the same day until he gets it right (and gets the girl!).

If you’re feeling bad about staring at screens all day, shouting at the news, and not doing any of the things you planned to do when you “finally have the time,” don’t. We’re still at the beginning of Groundhog Day. Bill Murray’s character realizes that his actions have no consequences and instead of doing good, he gives in to all his worst impulses: stuffing his face with food and alcohol, being violent and dangerous, using his time loop to develop new and creative ways to be a social tsunami.

Wikipedia writes that Groundhog Day is a story about the philosophical idea of “cultivation.” I first heard about this concept in Chinese dramas about gods and immortals. The idea is that a person spends 10,000 years becoming a better person – a little bit every day. In a pithy phrase: A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Bill Murray’s character didn’t learn French in a day. He didn’t learn to play piano in a day. And it certainly took him longer than a day to learn to be a better person.

Just one step

So we’ve had this shocking change in our world.

Take a breath. And then, every day

  • Take care of basic hygiene
  • Remind yourself of the date
  • Be grateful for your blessings
  • Do one small good thing

Everything feels like it’s falling to pieces right now, but like the Tower card, it depends on how you interpret it. Like in Groundhog Day, you can choose what to do in an impossible and insane situation (while gently forgiving yourself for your imperfect cultivation).

Passover is next week and we’ll tell the story as we do every year. After surviving plagues, the newly freed Israelites will receive some new life instructions and will do their best to become better people.

We will overcome this. We will be free of the before-times. But our strength is that we can choose how we will rebuild in the after-times.

 

Don’t Panic, Pt. 4: Life in Lockdown

At my house, it’s more or less business as usual. I’m counting all my blessings.

  • I’m healthy.
  • I can work from home, and I have work coming in.
  • I like being at home; it’s my sanctuary even in non-coronavirus times.
  • I have a patio allowing me to be outside in green space.
  • My cats are happy to have me around.

Shopping

As of Thursday, Israel restricted people to stay within 100 meters (a football field) of their homes, except for necessary outings. Shopping is necessary.

My regular store had the basics, but I decided that I needed to go to Emek Refaim to pick up treats for myself and my cats. We’re going to be at home for a while.

The pet store was not allowing people inside, but served people at the door. We stood 6 feet apart.

At the fancy grocery store, they were limiting the number of people allowed in. I had to wait outside for a few minutes. The store provided disposable gloves at the entrance. It wasn’t too chaotic inside, but they were disinfecting all surfaces and stocking shelves (preparing for Passover). Shoppers stayed apart as much as possible.

I got some brie and a baguette – who knows when I’ll get the chance again. And the extra special thing I got was Lavender Earl Grey tea. I know, bergamot and lavender sounds like a flavor overload, but I’m telling you it’s wonderful and good for relaxation.

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YouTube is my BFF

I watch news from around the world. And then to recover, I need to watch a lot of stand-up comedy. I’m just scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. I watch British stand-up usually or British shows – I highly recommend Graham Norton’s talk show. If you want stand-up comedy that has no swearing and no sex, go to Dry Bar Comedy (even the neck-tattoo guy has clean comedy).

I did one project so far. Success!

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I’ve also started using YouTube as an art course.

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I have no background in art at allbut I think these turned out pretty well. None are for sale at any price.

YouTube is also great at suggestions. My acrylic paints videos turned me on to dot mandalas. I tried one and I need to work on the process a bit more. But I challenge anyone to watch one of these videos and not be relaxed. I thought this one was pretty.

Human voices

I haven’t started giving my cats voices (yet!), so for human sounds I’ve been listening to audiobooks. Audible.com is offering free children’s books for all levels – you don’t need a membership (available in multiple languages!).

I’ve also attended a number of free webinars and I had a Tai Chi class via Zoom. I think I might do more of that!

Shelter at home – Kitty style

Hope for the future

I’m trying to see the opportunity in the adversity and really use the time this lockdown created. I’m not quite there yet – discipline and schedules are not my strongest skills – and the scrolling, scrolling, scrolling can be a bit addictive.

My wish is for all of us to come out of this lockdown just a little bit better than we were when we went in.

Don’t Panic, Pt. 3: A Lesson in Self-Reliance

This week I’ve been at home; I’m healthy, just following recommendations. As long as I have WiFi, I’ll be fine. My thoughts are with everyone who is ill or going through stressful times. It will get better. Eventually.

“Cats are cool.”

Kitler is the alpha cat in the green space around my building. He’s been here for more than 10 years according to the neighbors, and when I first moved in, he was a grouchy cat who didn’t trust anyone or anything.

Kitler2

Intruder alert

A year and a half later, he finally let me scratch his ears and now comes running to say hello when I open the door. He’s not exactly affectionate, but he lets me know he tolerates me and appreciates the Cat Condos.

Kitler

I tolerate you

A few days ago, I noticed that he had a big lump on his foreleg. He not my cat, but I didn’t imagine anyone else would take responsibility for him. My vet makes house calls (even now), but he was quite busy. We thought the lump might be an abscess.

Kitler wasn’t in pain, but he wasn’t quite himself. He invited himself into my house and laid down in one of the cat beds. At some point he moved to the foot of my bed – and my cats were completely fine with it. He also spent some time under my bed. I decided that in the morning, I should probably take him to a clinic. I wasn’t looking forward to trying to get him into a carrier.

(Side note: because of the social distancing restrictions, animal clinics are not allowing humans in, but pets can be left at the door and are retrieved by the staff.)

I went to bed, my cats snuggled with me, and Kitler moved himself into a cat bed for the night.

In the morning, I found that Kitler had left a small brown aromatic “gift” under my kitchen table (Thanks, Old Pal!) and he didn’t seem to have swelling on his leg anymore.

He. Had. Drained. The. Abscess. By. Himself. Using. His. Teeth.

Ewww. Gross!!!

I texted my vet to let him know in case this was now an emergency, and he wrote back: [thumbs up icon] Cats are cool.

Um. Well. Yeah, I guess they are. Kitler had a health crisis, found a safe space, and just got on with getting himself better. Whatever it takes.

(In case you’re wondering: he’s fine. I put Neosporin on the scratches on his leg.)

A lesson for humans

Let’s hope we don’t get to a point where we have to do minor surgeries on ourselves, although I hope I would be as strong and resilient as Kitler should the need arise.

Here are some takeaways for our coronavirus times:

  1. Don’t Panic
  2. Heath is the most important thing
  3. Find a safe space
  4. Stay away from clinics if possible
  5. Do what needs to be done
  6. Rest and recuperate
  7. Show appreciation for the helpers (avoid brown log-shaped “gifts”)

***

A good video to help you understand why drastic action needs to be taken early #StayHome

 

 

Don’t Panic, Pt. 2: Keep your distance

First and most importantly, I wish speedy and complete recovery to all those who are ill with COVID-19 and continued good health for those who are asymptomatic and in quarantine.

I delayed writing because the situation in Israel is changing hourly and while there will be more to come, now is a good time to catch up.

After the third election, there was still no coalition, but because of the coronavirus, elected officials understood that now is the time to act in unity to protect Israel and its people. Corruption and massive egos get pushed aside when Israel is under threat.

On Thursday, Israel closed its borders. Tourists are not allowed in the country unless they can prove they have a home (not a hotel) to self-quarantine for two weeks. Schools were officially closed until after Passover (mid-April).

Also on Thursday night, a huge storm blew across Israel with high winds and chances of flooding in the Dead Sea and Negev. Coincidence or Divine Directive to stay home?

On Friday morning, normally a busy time in Jerusalem even on rainy days, the streets were quite empty. There are images of a nearly empty Western Wall plaza, nearly empty Mahane Yehuda (the open air market), and few people on the outdoor shopping streets (Ben Yehuda and Mamilla).

As of Saturday evening (see sections of Netanyahu’s speech with simultaneous English translation), entertainment and cultural activities are closed, including cafes and malls. Gatherings of 10+ people are no longer allowed. We are asked to keep 2 meters (6 feet) away from others. Netanyahu said we are at war with an invisible enemy.

We are not in lock-down, but we’re getting there.

This is where we are now

The main article making the rounds right now is “Corona Virus: Why You Must Act Now” (available in 19 languages). It’s a pretty scary article backed by a lot of graphs, statistical models, and historical analysis of the 1918 flu pandemic. Bottom line: Social distancing, containment, early action.

I skimmed it and am quite comfortable with Israel’s policies – even if they get a lot more invasive (and they will).

Getting in touch with our humanity, virtually 

My friend in Milan is taking the lock-down philosophically. He can’t go anywhere for a month, so he thought it would be a good time for some self-reflection and life evaluation.

Facebook is filling up with quarantine support groups and offers of small group activities for children.

Asymptomatic but quarantined religious women in Israel are expecting to have more time to clean for Passover.

A Hebrew Ulpan is offering Hebrew classes online (free).

Economic safety nets are showing up using online technology. Tour guides have been hit hard by the closed borders and one company decided to try something different: virtual tours given by real guides on location to families in their homes around the world.

The main Tai Chi group in Israel is offering stress-relieving Qigong meditation classes online (for free).

Thoughts for now

Reasoned, thoughtful action is what will get the world through this mess.

Panic will only lead to irrational toilet paper and hand sanitizer hoarding. Let’s elevate ourselves above that.

 

 

 

 

Don’t Panic

If you have your towel, a Babel fish in your ear, and know that the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything is 42, then you’ll probably be fine.

If not, you might as well quarantine yourself and read the six books in the trilogy of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. You’ll be safe from the coronavirus (COVID-19) and you’ll know it’s best not to panic.

***

Israel just had its third election and the government is pretty shaky, but they still have their act together doing everything possible to contain the coronavirus.

As of this writing:

  • Jerusalem Marathon – cancelled (ok, postponed until October, all being well)
  • Public Purim celebrations – mostly cancelled
  • Gatherings of over 5,000 people – cancelled
  • International travelers are not permitted to events with more than 100 people
  • Anyone arriving from mainland China, South Korea, Hong Kong, Macau, Singapore, Thailand, Japan, Italy, Austria, Germany, Spain, France, or Switzerland must go into 14-day home quarantine. If you are coming from Taiwan or Australia, watch for symptoms. This applies to both Israelis and foreign nationals. And the government just made it retroactive – anyone who has been in any of those countries in the last 14 days. As of this writing, somewhere between 50,000 to 80,000 people in Israel are quarantined.
  • Flights have been canceled. Whole airline companies are not flying to Israel.
  • A specifically Jewish note: Chief Rabbis in Israel say not to touch the mezuzah when passing through a door (this is a custom for many Jews).

Israel’s Ministry of Health has a website available in Hebrew, English, Russian, and Arabic giving updated information and guidelines about the virus.

The primary guideline is not to visit your healthcare provider. If you have a fever of at least 100.4F (38C), cough, trouble breathing, or other respiratory problems, you can call a hotline and a medic will come to you.

Guess how many confirmed cases of coronavirus Israel has?

21 (no deaths)

Even more surprising: Palestinian territories are closed to tourists for the next two weeks. Bethlehem closed tourist attractions (Church of the Nativity), schools, universities, and mosques.

Guess how many confirmed cases?

16 (no deaths)

I’ve been listening to the US news and there seems to be so much outrage and panic about the lack of testing. I looked all over Israel’s website and found nothing about testing. If you’ve been exposed or possibly exposed, quarantine.

In fact, there was a press release detailing the itinerary of a woman who tested positive for coronavirus after she returned home to New York. Israelis were told to quarantine themselves if they had been in the areas she had been during that time. (She was near my work, but thankfully we were not in the same place at the same time.)

Apart from that, wash your hands, use common sense, and business as usual.

Israel is a small country with nearly 9 million people. We have one major international airport. Not every country can act so quickly and with such force. This lock-down will protect people, even if it is uncomfortable, restricts travel freedom, and will probably have catastrophic economic repercussions. Losing money and comfort is less important than losing life.

As I write this, I can hear children playing in the park behind my home. In spite of everything, it’s a pretty normal Saturday.

Tomorrow, I’ll grab my towel, take a bus to the office, and it will be business as usual. And most importantly, I won’t panic.

 

 

Third time, ice cream!

“Pa’am shlisheet, glida!” (!פעם שלישית, גלידה) – (old-fashioned) Israeli slang; used upon meeting someone you rarely see twice in one day. You say, “pa’am shlishit, glida,” which means if you run into each other again, you’ll sit down for an ice cream. (Although, even if you meet the third time, no one actually buys ice cream.)

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Israel’s multiparty system – Is there a flavor for you? (Image by Annalise Batista from Pixabay) 

In honor of Israel’s third elections in one year, the Jerusalem municipality announced that people who spend at least 20 NIS at certain retailers on election day can bring the receipt to a range of ice cream parlors and get free ice cream.

Ben & Jerry‘s got in on the game and is launching a new ice cream flavor in honor of the elections. In English, it’s called “One Sweet Vote” and in Hebrew, it’s a pun, “Yesh Ta’am Lehatzbiah” (יש טעם להצביה) or “There’s a reason/flavor to vote.”

You may ask yourself, “what on earth does ice cream have to do with anything?” And maybe even, “if I’m lactose intolerant, will they substitute some of that nice passionfruit sorbet?”

Israelis have some hilarious theories about where “third time, ice cream” came from. One pervasive theory is it’s from the British Mandate period when English speakers would say something like “if I see you again, I’ll scream.” I’ll scream = ice cream. Get it? No English speakers buy that theory at all.

Another common one is that it comes from the German. “Next time we meet, we’ll have a beer.” Possible. But there’s no three and there’s no ice cream.

In my personal experience, I found it used by men who think they are being suave. I’ll see them more than once in a short span of time, and they say, “Pa’am shlishit, glida?” like they’re asking for a date. Uh. No. Stalker. *giant eyeroll*

The explanation I found in a deep crevice in the internet was biblical. When the Israelites left Egypt, they need help from God to survive. At their first stop, God provided water. At the second stop, God provided water and dates. At the third stop, God gave them manna. Manna is described as “thin as frost.” When the Bible was translated into Aramaic, frost was translated as – wait for it – glida! 

It remains to be seen if the third time is a charm for the Israeli elections. Based on this, we could look forward to ice cream or screaming or beer or rescue by God. Maybe all of the above.

Or – more likely – it may play out like two friends meeting for the third time: nice words, but nobody buys the ice cream.

Ah-Choo!

In Hebrew, the word for the sound of a sneeze is “ap-chee” (אפצ’י).

This week the almond tree in my back yard bloomed, practically overnight. It’s a sight to behold! And even though I just passed my 18th aliyah-versary, I was reminded that in some ways I’m always going to be American. Those beautiful white blossoms make me “ah-choo” not “ap-chee.”

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And now for something completely different …

***This is a work of fiction.  Mostly.***

INTERIOR, Oval Office

[Side view of Donald Trump staring out the window. He turns to face the camera.]

Yup. I’m still here. I know. I can’t believe it either. I mean, seriously, what does it take to get kicked out of this office?

Look. I know how I got here. America was mad at Washington and voted to shake things up. But I’m not sure you all planned for a tsunami.

I get it: elect someone who is famous for being famous and says things that you like to hear. “Drain the swamp!” But, folks, being president is supposed to be public service. Serve the public? Come on. I don’t even serve dinner.

How hard could it be to be president? Say stuff. Sign stuff. Shake hands and stuff. Being president is tougher than I thought.

I wanted out, like, A. S. A. P.

So I brought in massively unqualified people for Cabinet positions, and the turnover is insane, no stability at all. Absolutely no one should be surprised that I fire a lot of people, I mean, I’m famous for firing people (“You’re FIRED!” HA!). And I like to do it via Twitter because it’s so disrespectful and headline-grabbing.

I thought surely giving top secret information to the Russian ambassador would get me out of here. I mean, even Dersh thought it was pretty bad (although not criminal!). Nope.

I’ve met with Putin and Kim Jung Un. But there are no notes of our meetings. Is that any way to run official diplomacy? Apparently, it doesn’t bother anyone enough to get me the hell out of here.

I’ve said on many occasions that the world was laughing at us for paying for everything. I meant laughing figuratively. With me in office, they are literally laughing. On camera. At my expense. And unfortunately, at your expense too. After all, you elected me.

Well, to be totally accurate, I gamed the system. I said the Electoral College is rigged and my team used it to our advantage. It’s not rocket science, folks. Get a bunch of small population rural states to vote just a little bit more Republican and they’re in your pocket. A few big Democratic states aren’t going to beat that. So lose the popular vote and win the election.

Speaking of which. There’s that saying “show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are.” The friends who got me elected are in jail. To be honest, you’ll never prove my hands are dirty on this one. If you watch enough TV (and I do), they always say, “Follow the money.” There’s no money. It’s all loyalty. Remember the Teflon Don? The only reason they finally got him was someone turned on him who had nothing to lose. Everyone I know has something to lose.

I think some Americans might like that I tweet all the time. You feel like I’m talking to you personally. I talk like you (the best words!). I make typos like you (unpresidented).  I make dumb mistakes like you do (why is Kansas City in Missouri?).

But did you forget my administration no longer has White House press briefings? Going on a year now. I control the message. I control the time, the place, the questions. I’ve called the press “the enemy of the people.” You know who loved that phrase? Stalin. And still. It’s not enough to get me out of here.

Speaking of my communication: I lie. A lot. I lie casually. “Hey, Janice, that skirt is so slimming!” (Not really.) “Hey, Jim, thanks for the feedback on the report.” (Not a single useful comment.) “Mexico is paying for the wall.” (Hardly.) Article II of the Constitution says “I can do anything I want as president.” (You probably haven’t read it, so you wouldn’t know.)

Why don’t I resign? Good question. Well, you know, I still love America. America has been good to me. I couldn’t be The Donald in any other country. Even if I’m not a leader by any stretch of the imagination, I feel a duty (if I can use that word) to roll back the carpet and show Americans that their apathy and ignorance have created a government of self-interested politicians looking to the next election rather than leaders who represent their constituents’ interests and serve the public that elected them.

I mean, come on. I was impeached, acquitted in the Senate, and then went on a vindictive firing spree (“You’re fired!” So much fun!). And I’m still here because your representatives in Congress can’t or won’t take action outside their party line. If they represent you and what you want for America, then they’re doing their jobs. But if they aren’t, get them out of there. The US government is not WWF Smackdown. Congresspeople should not be sinking to my level and crafting snarky one-line zingers. That’s not leadership, and it’s not the business of governing.

My sitting in this office is proof that the system is broken. Kowtowing to the party is proof that the people in Washington are not representing you or trying to make your life better; they are just sitting around collecting a salary and resting on their popularity in their home state. Electing more people like me will not fix the government; ignoring it won’t solve anything either.

Somebody – I don’t know who – said: All it takes for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing. So if you sit on your ass on election day moaning about how your vote doesn’t matter, then the next four years of bad government are on you. You don’t just vote for a president, you vote for your representatives and senators. You live in a state, a county, and a town. The less you pay attention, the worse it’s going to be. Are the people running the country/state/county/town those who want to make it better for everyone? Or are they banking on winning a popularity contest for a salary and benefits?

I can see that nothing I do will get me out of here. I’m begging you voters: Get me out! I hate it here.

Democrats, I’m counting on you. Get your freaking ducks in a row. Get a candidate. Support that candidate. Vote. Remind your friends and family to vote. Do your civic duty!

If you don’t, four more years of this are on you personally. You’re going to see more taxpayer money stuffed into Mar-a-Lago’s (ok, my) pockets. Be thankful I’m golfing and not working. Who knows what other crazy stuff I’ll do at the office to try to get out of this awful job?

And I have to do all this dumb stuff every day so that you’ll pay attention. You’re tired of it? So am I! But you have to admit, you didn’t pay this much attention to Washington until I got here. You’re welcome, America!

[Trump picks up the phone.]

Yeah. Fire up the chopper. I’m on the way.

[Trump looks back at the camera.]

I gotta go. I’m gonna yell some nonsense at the reporters. I love how they run around on the lawn. It’s the only joy in my day.

(In case you forgot how the circus was supposed to work…)

 

 

Big news week. Or is it?

If you read any of the insane headlines this week, it might seem as if the world is on a high-speed crazy train to WTF-ville. But we’ll keep the focus on Israel.

Two and a half “big” things happened that got a lot of people talking, but the public seems to have responded with a collective yawn.

The Peace Plan

Finally, the “deal of the century” was delivered. Since we are in the middle of our third election, both major party leaders, Netanyahu and Gantz, went to Washington to shake hands with Trump and accept it. As I’ve said in many blog posts, Israel wants peace with its neighbors, without sacrificing security. In this case, neither party has anything to lose by showing early support.

Lots of people in Israel don’t like the plan, but most are pretty sure it will never happen. It’s simply not worth getting excited about. Palestinian leadership called for a “day of rage” while the Palestinian people said “whatever.”

So: Whose election is this good for? Will this nearly impossible-to-implement plan win enough points to overlook corruption and abuse of power?

Release of Israeli in Russia

A young woman passed through the Moscow airport coming home to Israel from India. She was accused of having drugs in her bag. The charges spiraled and she was eventually sentenced to 7.5 years in a Russian prison. She maintained her innocence all along.

This week Netanyahu got her out and went to pick her up in Moscow to fly her home on his private plane. Photo ops abound. They led to a lot of cynical (but hilarious!) memes.

Because again: Whose election is this good for? What did Netanyahu offer Putin to get this deal?

Immunity? I don’t need no stinkin’ immunity!

Netanyahu gave up his bid for immunity in the Knesset and corruption charges were immediately filed against him. The trial will likely get pushed to after the election.

If he wins the election, he expects to come up with some kind of deal to keep himself out of jail.

And that’s where we are

Elections are on March 2. Do we live in a country where handshakes with Trump and Putin paired with gargantuan hubris win elections? Let’s hope not. But I’m afraid that voter apathy and maintenance of the status quo will be enough to secure a fifth term. Perhaps that will finally start a conversation about term limits.