Purim – Celebrating Women!

March 23, 2019 / IlanaB / Leave a comment

Purim in Israel looks like Halloween on the outside – costumes, parties, drinking – but it’s actually the celebration of a woman who saves the Jewish people. Coincidentally, I saw Captain Marvel and On the Basis of Sex this month, which happens to be Women’s History Month. If you know anything about the story of Purim, you’ll know that that is also a story full of coincidences.

Unapologetically Feminine

What I found interesting in these three stories is that Esther, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Carol Danvers succeeded in a man’s world without forcing themselves to become masculine. Moreover, their inner spark and strength was hidden in plain sight. Esther was a beauty pageant winner and queen. She followed the rules and requirements of her position, and found a way to avert the genocide of her people. Ruth Bader Ginsburg was a wife and mother, valued her family above all, followed societal rules, and still excelled in everything she did (except cooking; she’s terrible at it). Carol Danvers joined the Air Force, became a fighter pilot, and, in typical superhero style, was infused with the most powerful energy in the universe. At first glance, she seems “masculine,” but she leads with her heart and one “friend” calls her emotions a weakness. Rather than a weakness, she finds on her journey that they are her strength. The best feminist line is when she is set to fight a guy she thought was a mentor and a friend. He knows he can’t beat her powers, so he challenges her fist to fist, no weapons, to prove herself to him (he knows he can win). She shoots him with photon blasts from her hands. As he wakes, he sees her surrounded by sunlight and she says, “I don’t have to prove anything to you.”

Encouraging Allies

In Hero(ine) Journey style, Esther, Ruth, and Carol have an ally. The ally is not just a partner, but is a person who reminds our heroine who she is and helps her fulfill her destiny by lifting her up and acknowledging and celebrating her strengths and easing her weaknesses. Esther had Uncle Mordechai. He raised her, helped her win the pageant, coincidentally stopped an assassination attempt, and kept her in touch with her roots and her people. Ruth Bader Ginsburg had her husband Marty. He was her partner in life: an involved father and husband, a supporter of every choice, a peacemaker, and he was also quite a good cook. Carol Danvers had her best friend Maria Rambeau to remind her who she is and what her true strengths are and Nick Fury to help her navigate Earth of the 1990s and fight bad guys.

Stories for Women and Men in the Real World

Women can be inspired and fulfill their destinies. Men can see what true allies look like so that they can move forward by lifting women up instead of pushing them down to soothe their own egos. Armie Hammer who plays Martin Ginsburg said that he could never live up to the standards set by his character, but it was something to aspire to. He says (on The Graham Norton Show): “I think the model of their marriage and their relationship was the basis of the gender equality that Ruth later sought during her entire legal career.”

At the same time, I’m sickened by the news coming out of South Korea right now of Korean pop singers sharing hidden camera videos of their sexcapades, procuring prostitutes for investment schemes, and other crimes. This week a live streaming hidden camera site spying on 1,600 people having sex in their motel rooms was exposed. Under the banner of “My Life Is Not Your Porn” Korean women started taking to the streets last summer to highlight the phenomenon of cameras hidden in changing rooms and public bathrooms. This led to an effort to sweep public restrooms on a regular basis to check for spycams. I hope Korean women can find inspiration from a real person like Ruth Bader Ginsburg, a possibly real person in their history like Jews have in Queen Esther, and if all else fails, they can take inspiration from the most powerful superhero in the Marvel universe, Captain Marvel. And from these stories, Korean men can learn to be allies instead of misogynists.

In every reading of the Purim story, we can learn a new lesson. Let’s let this year’s lessons be:

Women are strong

Sometimes only a woman can save everyone

Step by step, with patience and determination, women can change the world

The movies are very good, not the best I’ve ever seen, but they are definitely stories worth telling and sharing.

*This post is inspired in part by this article.

Philosophical Purim

March 3, 2018 / IlanaB / Leave a comment

Purim is not my holiday. I’m not a fan of dressing up, partying all night, or drinking until “you can’t tell the difference between Mordechai and Haman.” No matter how I feel about it, Israel goes bananas over Purim. Think Halloween on steroids.

My neighbors were featured as the first picture in the article (Wonder Woman is missing)

Source: Times of Israel

In recent years, I’ve seen a more philosophical interpretation of Purim. Some women talk about the strength of women in the story. The Jews are saved by Esther because she was in the right place at the right time. Some bring up Vashti who said “no” to the king (creating the opportunity for Esther) and her courage to disobey the patriarchy.

Another philosophical conversation turns around the fact that God is never mentioned in the story. Things coincidentally happen, but the name of God is never uttered. Is God behind the scenes or is the story a series of convenient coincidences? Well, you can answer that for yourself.

This year Purim and Dad’s secular yahrzeit fell on the same day. I’d like to think that Dad is still with us in some way and is part of our stories. We may not talk about him every day, but as long as he is remembered, he still exists for us.

I watch a lot of Korean dramas and Koreans mark the anniversary of the death of a loved one with a ceremony that includes the person’s favorite foods. I like that. Dad didn’t eat a lot and nothing really stands out as his favorite (Steak? Vanilla wafers? Greasy spoon diner food?) Dad liked to play poker, so in his memory, here’s a Royal Flush.

The early chapters of our story (I’m the kid)

Hidden in Plain Sight?

March 10, 2017 / IlanaB / 1 Comment

Purim = costumes, parties, alcohol, triangular cookies, candies

Well, yes and no. It’s easy to forget that there might be a deeper meaning to Purim.

For more on Purim in Israel, you can read last year’s post.

Things that make you go hmm

One of the (many) interesting things about Purim is that the story is one of the books of the Bible, but God isn’t mentioned anywhere. Traditionally, Jews read the story of Esther aloud in community events, loudly boo when the villain is mentioned, and yet somehow God got left out of the manuscript.

Here’s a 5-minute video review of the story:

Skeptics might say that the story is just a well-written, cleverly plotted piece of historical fiction about a girl who becomes queen and it puts her in a position to save the Jews. Like any good book, movie, or drama, plot points occur at just the right time to have a dramatic payoff later.

Some people would say that this story is a recounting of Jewish history in Persia. In this group, you might have your atheists and agnostics who will write the story off as a series of coincidences. In the chaos that is our real life, coincidences happen all the time and we don’t even notice them.

Accepting that there are some things in the world that are unexplainable might allow another group of people to look at the Purim story as “synchronicity” – a series of meaningful coincidences that link events together. Mordechai annoyed Haman and it just so happened that the night before Haman was going to talk to the king about this pest Mordechai, the king couldn’t sleep and just so happened to open his history book to the time when Mordechai just so happened to hear about a plot to kill the king and saved him.

And then there is the third group who see the hidden hand of God in history, nudging events to put people in particular places, but still allowing them to use their free will. This is a different God than the God of Genesis who’s in everyone’s business all the time.

I think the message of Purim reaches out to all three groups.

To our skeptical atheists and agnostics: Sometimes you are in the right place at the right time. It doesn’t matter how you got there, choose to do something.

To our people who accept the unexplainable: A complicated series of events drew you to a particular place and time. Choose to act and follow the path.

To our believers: Even when it seems like He’s hidden, God is everywhere. You were chosen to be in a certain place at a certain time. Choose to accept your role and fulfill your destiny.

Whichever group you belong to,

Happy Purim!

Purim in Israel

March 25, 2016 / IlanaB / 1 Comment

Today and yesterday were Purim in Israel. The story of the holiday can be found in the Book of Esther. A young Jewess wins a beauty contest to become queen and is uniquely poised to save the Jews of Persia from the very powerful Haman whose mission is to exterminate the Jews.

The story of Esther might not be your first thought if you are here in Israel on Purim. Purim is celebrated as a cross between Halloween and April Fools’ Day. Top items on the to-do list: Drink A LOT and party like it’s 1999. Give baskets of sweets to neighbors and friends (the opposite of trick-or-treat). Pull pranks and laugh a lot.

You could liken this version of Purim with secular Easter celebrations. Why does a bunny bring eggs in a basket? Why does he hide them? Why is the Easter Bunny a he? What does a bunny have to do with Jesus rising from the dead? Moreover, why is it that in France, Easter bells deliver eggs from Rome? Well, I digress.

There are 4 things that you are actually supposed to do on Purim.

Listen to the Book of Esther (in Hebrew, it’s Megillat Esther – you have to listen to the whole megillah)
Have a festive meal where you drink a lot
- This is where the sages suggested that you drink until you don’t know the difference between Mordechai and Haman
Send gifts of food (in Hebrew, Mishloach Manot) to friends
Give to the poor

You’ll note that dressing up is not mentioned and neither are pranks and jokes.

Purim is not one of those holidays where offices are closed, but workers are given the option of taking one of the two days off. One of two days, you ask? Purim in non-walled cities is on the 14^th of Adar and Purim in walled cities is on the 15^th of Adar (don’t ask, it’s complicated). Jerusalem is considered a walled city, so we celebrate on the 15^th, but since people have families outside of Jerusalem, some of them celebrate on the 14^th. Nowadays, the celebrating goes on for 2 days because it’s less confusing and a lot more fun.

This guy’s video went viral in Israel for his awesome flight through Tel Aviv.

Back in the day, people used to dress up as characters from the Book of Esther. No longer. You’ll see superheroes; characters from literature, movies and TV; fantastical characters; clever visual puns; or at a minimum, people wearing funny hats or wigs. If ever I dress up, I just plop on a tiara and call it done. I read one article that traced the dressing up to Italian Jews following the traditions of Mardi Gras. But the retroactively spiritual version, which I like, is that everything is hidden in the Book of Esther. She wears the mask of a non-Jew to win the beauty contest. God is not mentioned in the story, but the story is propelled forward by several coincidences that might be considered the invisible hand of God.

If you try to ask for hamantaschen in Israel, people will look at you funny. The triangular, filled sugar cookie traditionally eaten for Purim is called oznei haman in Israel. You might notice that Haman is mentioned in both cookie names, but strangely enough taschen and oznei are not the same. Hamantaschen is the German for Haman’s pockets. Oznei haman are Haman’s ears. And then there is the common story that the cookie represents Haman’s hat. But still, why are we eating anything related to Haman at all? He’s a villain! There’s no good answer for that, but the cookies are yummy nonetheless.

There’s a joke about Jewish holidays that goes like this: Jewish holidays can be summarized as “They tried to kill us. They failed. Let’s eat.” Purim is a great example. But it is also a reflection of day to day life in Israel and we don’t need any holidays to remember that. So Happy Purim! Let’s eat!

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