Philosophical Purim

Purim is not my holiday. I’m not a fan of dressing up, partying all night, or drinking until “you can’t tell the difference between Mordechai and Haman.” No matter how I feel about it, Israel goes bananas over Purim. Think Halloween on steroids.

NeighborsMy neighbors were featured as the first picture in the article (Wonder Woman is missing)

Another photo

Source: Times of Israel

In recent years, I’ve seen a more philosophical interpretation of Purim. Some women talk about the strength of women in the story. The Jews are saved by Esther because she was in the right place at the right time. Some bring up Vashti who said “no” to the king (creating the opportunity for Esther) and her courage to disobey the patriarchy.

Another philosophical conversation turns around the fact that God is never mentioned in the story. Things coincidentally happen, but the name of God is never uttered. Is God behind the scenes or is the story a series of convenient coincidences? Well, you can answer that for yourself.

This year Purim and Dad’s secular yahrzeit fell on the same day. I’d like to think that Dad is still with us in some way and is part of our stories. We may not talk about him every day, but as long as he is remembered, he still exists for us.

I watch a lot of Korean dramas and Koreans mark the anniversary of the death of a loved one with a ceremony that includes the person’s favorite foods. I like that. Dad didn’t eat a lot and nothing really stands out as his favorite (Steak? Vanilla wafers? Greasy spoon diner food?) Dad liked to play poker, so in his memory, here’s a Royal Flush.

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Wedding croppedThe early chapters of our story (I’m the kid)

 

To Remember

Hebrew is a very logical, systematic language.  Once you know a root, you have a whole vocabulary arena open to you.  This week’s root is זכר (z.k.r), which is the root for “to remember.”

The Yiddish word for the annual remembrance of the death of a loved one is called a yahrzeit, the time of the year. In Hebrew it is more often called an azkara, a memorial. I like that one better.  I want to remember my dad, not just mark time. The prayer that is said is called yizkor.

This week completed the year of firsts without my dad.  Living so far away from him, our relationship was built on phone calls, so even though he wasn’t actually here, he was as close as a phone call.  Now if I want to share something with him, I have to remind myself that he’s in a place without cell service.

Dad loved to eat at diners, so my brothers in the US took time off and went to a diner.  I was so glad that they called me so I could join them virtually.  It was good for us to share memories and tell funny stories about Dad.

Now we begin the year of seconds without Dad.  But no matter how many years pass, we have our memories, we remember, and usually we laugh.  May his memory always be a blessing to us.

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Those were the days!

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David J. Brown z”l
Aug. 15, 1941 – Mar. 1, 2016